Sunday, August 14

New Beginnings

I was a Nanny. Am I still, no. Will I ever be one again, I don't know. I have been a Nanny to many kids, literally many. I have had to leave many behind for myself like school, moving ect.. or family issues that naturally growing up. I have to say I believe this was the icing on my cake. The definition of a Nanny: a child's caregiver. I actually tried to look up a definition and there are so many terms for a Nanny. This is my definition... 

Someone who helps out in the home. A lover of children. A cleaner upper of barf, spit up, and every other fluid from little people all messes. A person whom creates stability in a chaotic household. Nose booger cleaner. Hugger. Tear wiper. Friend and sometimes disciplinarian. Teacher. Like a mom. Never forgotten.   

I lost three kids Friday. literally. It was a wham bam thank you mam deal. I am heart broken. Nothing of my fault, I just believe Nannies are sometimes attached to a price tag. The get what you pay for kinda deal. But sometimes, in my case you work too hard, and too long, that you become too expensive. So therefore, I was given no notice and some cash to keep me happy and leave easily. 

I have worked on average 52 hours a week for nearly four years. To my calculations that's nearly 10,816 hours. WOW! I could go on and on my actual duties and things I accomplished, but that is now in the past. I will not miss those five am mornings and arriving home between seven and eight pm every night, did I mention with my own infant? But I will miss the kids. I was so distraught and blindsided I could not even hug them good-bye. My little man officially lost his siblings. Infants I had taken care of from just a few weeks old. I was a fill in mom. I will miss them.

I've been praying for God to give me a way to not have such a stressful life. For time to slow down. Time to just let me breathe. Time to just feel better. 

God answered my prayer. What he expects of me now I'm not sure of yet. But, I know he's steering me down the right path. He has given me time with Leeland. How lucky am I? Time to watch my little man grow and enjoy every waking moment with. I will put the past behind me, remember the good and cherish the times. It's going to be a new beginning and I'm ready to see what God has in store for me. 

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